First let me say that I apologize for the bottom of my heart for abandoning you guys.
(Isn’t that the creepiest thing, a Ferris wheel long abandoned still moves with the wind)
I am truly sorry. I am not sure what happened to me, I have been assured it is just something that writers go through whether it be a ‘funk’, ‘withdrawal’, ‘burnout’? I just know that for me over the last few months the thought of writing would not bring me joy, but panic attacks.
My heart said, write, my mind said don’t you dare! I was truly in a place I never want to be again.
I have actually never experienced anything like this. I am the one who would tell everyone, do not let it bother you if you don’t get picked or even win a writing contest, it was okay and not a personal reflection of your writing. I even received several very positive comments back saying that it was good but others were just better. I told everyone it’s okay, it is not a personal judgement. Rejection is a HUGE part of this business and you have to bet tough.
(Okay Nobody’s tougher than Daryl, but you know what I mean)
I was in a very bad place, and I’m not saying that I won’t go there again. (I hope not) But something amazing happened during my time away.
I wanted to just stop writing. Give up completely, thinking I will never get this. I will never be good enough. (I’m telling ya, I was in a really bad place writing wise). Little by little though, that part of my soul that I was trying to kill continued to crawl its way out. (My own little Daryl Dixon.) Never give up, Never Surrender kind of things.
My Characters screamed in my head to be heard.
So while I typically would give up on something after so long, my self doubt taking control and wearing me down, this time it’s different. I am excited again about writing for the first time in a while.
So thank you for staying with me. I am working on several things on my blog including excerpts from what I am PLANNING on being a published book (Cause I have a great story you know.)
I am changing my life, one way or another but always for the good. So let me just say I love you all and I am excited to be back to writing once again. (And yes I am entered into yet another writing contest but this time, If I fail to make it through, I simply will learn to make things better and stop feeling sorry for myself)
So this is for all of you who stuck with me.