August 2015

Well

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It appears I’ve done it again. I have neglected to write in a blog I swore I would not let falter. I’m really not great at this so please forgive me.

Over the last Nine months in my absence much has happened. Not much of it has to do with writing but I’ll get to that.

I wanted to take a minute and tell a little about my story It’s rather long so go get a drink, or coffee or whatever you choose

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If you go back through my posts, you may know that 2013 was a nightmare year for me. Several close family deaths incuding my six week old great nephew and my brother. All of this put me into a depression (that I didn’t know or understand) I thought I could just bounce back but I did need help to do that. But the stress and strain did something else to my body. It awoke a disease that for most is manageable a skin condition that puts small blisters on the soles of your feet and palms of your hands. (I would put a pic to show but you might be eating and I’m not gonna torture you)

Needless to say it was extremely painful and life altering. I became sedentary and the medicine added more weight onto an already overweight frame.

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That was me for almost three years.

I heard about this thing called G.I.S.H.W.H.E.S. (Because as if you can’t tell I’m a fan of Supernatural and Misha Collins one of the actors on the show founded it) Gishwhes is the Greatest International Scavenger Hunt The World Has Ever Seen.

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I was literally all out of fight when Gishwhes started in August of 2015 but I was determined to have fun. I needed some fun in my life. What happened next changed my life in such profound ways, it’s hard to explain.

I LOVED, every second of Gishwhes, I fought, went out of my comfort zone all to earn imaginary points. Even though you know you don’t have a shot at winning (William Shatner was on team come on, I can’t beat Captain Kirk!)034teampic

What happened after it was over, however surprised me more than anything. It is hard to explain but it was as if someone switched a flip in my head that said, “If you can fight that hard to get points for a scavenger hunt that you can’t win, why not fight for yourself.”

I am stubborn, strong-willed, determined (All traits my mother will confirm) and I was giving up from a disease. So I joined a gym, one that has an indoor salt water pool that is all I could do with damaged feet and obese weight levels. I did well and eventually moved out of the pool. Something I never thought I could do.

But the next picture is a comparison from November 28, 2015 to March 4, 2015. The numbers on the scale haven’t changed much but I sure have.

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It’s easy to see why people give up when they are trying to lose weight. But I’m not trying to lose weight. I’m trying to get my body stronger and I am winning at that. My feet have cleared enough to be manageable. I work as hard as I can every day.

My size never bothered me, please understand. My attitude was as long as I’m healthy, I don’t care if you don’t like me. But I wasn’t healthy. Therefore the changes.

Now coming full circle back to Supernatural and the other actors. These men genuinely care about their fans and want to share their experiences and lives with us.

The #AlwaysKeepFighting campaign started it off. always_keep_fighting_by_bad8luck-d8v4p4w

Now there is a reminder of this…

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You are not alone!

It’s been a year since they launched the Always Keep Fighting Campaign and Now Jared has shared a very moving sentiment. The way you keep fighting is to Love Yourself First.

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These guys don’t know it but they are my imaginary trainers, yelling in my ear to keep going. They are coming to my city in October and even if I have a nanosecond to thank them I will.

They are inspiring and helping so many people and I am proud to say they inspire me.

I’ll try not to stay away so long and thanks for stopping by LeslieLand.

Les

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The tree

As a writer, I’m sure many of you live in your own head at times. Dreams of what could be, or stories. Conversations with your characters, on and on. More often than not for me it is an escape mechanism for the real world. My own personal life, but different.

I dream of a different life but feel deep down that it will never become reality. That no matter how fast and hard I chase my dreams, they get further and further away. When those realizations hit, I die a little each time until my soul feels consumed by reality. Sometimes there is no way out and you have no idea what to do next. Lost. Then the serene world that is in your thoughts mingles with life as it is and it crumbles in front of you.

Your private paradise, your escape disappears.

What do you do then?

Start over?

Facing the crushing realization that your dream slips further and further away as life, the reality of life, digs its claws in deeper and deeper each time you dare start again, what do you do?

You fight, even if you’re numb. Even if you can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. Even when you are most definitely defeated. You fight.

You wrap your hands around that tree and climb. You’re weak and tired. The tree with all of the broken limbs that have sent you hurling to the ground. Walking away is the easy thing to do. You don’t really have to climb up to find that limb that opens a new world. You can stay on the ground. But if you ever want that dream you climb. You claw every¬†inch until your hands bleed.

One day, you’ll either find that limb or fall again. Each time you will face the same choice. Climb or walk.